from morning until now

Today I got up with the best of intentions.. actually I don't know what my intentions were.. but they were to do something. I was supposed to go help a friend with her truck at the Pride parade at 8:30 and then go to Hands Across the Sand at 11ish. Well, once I finally got to Pride (in my tutu and fairy wings), I found out the parade didn't start until 10. Fast forward.. I'm sitting in the truck at 10:40 and we are pulling out towards the parade route.. grr... ok.. maybe I'll make it..maybe not..

I thought that if I left around 11:40 I could still make it to Hands in time for joining hands at 12. Next time I looked at the clock it was 11:47 or something like that.. we were still on the parade route.. um.. maybe not..
Ok, so I shirked my demonstration duties. I'm very passionate about the cause.... BUT

But, I was having so much fun.. and I was happy to support my friends who are gay/bi. Of course everyone there thought I was gay, despite my little tiny button that I'd acquired from a very cute gay man that said "boy kisser". He had one too. He didn't seem offended when I took one from him (they were giving out both gender to everyone and had LOADS), but he did seem a little bit surprised... It was a BLAST.. I was dancing in the truck, outside the truck, while I was driving the truck.. Honestly, it's the most fun I've had in a very long time. Even amidst hundreds/thousands of men dressed in leather and harnesses, drag queens, and various and sundry other unusualties?(oddities?), I was still a novelty.. Still got my picture taken.. still got goofy looks. I'll never understand that.. must be something about me in particular.. just a freak.. maybe people see a kindred spirit.. maybe they just see a weirdo. I'll only regret it if someone walks up to me in the grocery store and says "Hey! Aren't you that girl from Pride that wore the tutu and the fairy wings?"... Then I'll shrink back in my hole. My only solace at that point is that I hopefully won't be here for that to happen.. Time is getting short.. Thank Cat!

I'm wretchedly sunburnt... some days it doesn't even occur to me to put sunscreen on.. today it was.. well I'm not going to be out all day and I've got glitter on and the 2 just don't work together.. excuses excuses.. I'm lobster! It's ok.. hopefully this will be the exten of the damage that my skin gets during its remainder of term in Florida.. I vow to make a strong attempt at thinking about considering putting sunscreen on for any further forays outside.. maybe. No, seriously I ought to because if I don't I may start looking my age and that would be AWFUL! *note to self - wear sunscreen or = old. ok.. now just to remember that..planning and forethought..

so during the rest of the day today I've been chatting with an awesome friend, and painting... I painted the upstairs hallway.. it was the last vestige of unpainted wall in this house (barring closets which I do not paint). I'm glad it's done.. it looks good.. much better than randomly black/dirt marked construction vanilla walls. it's a shame that completing such a largish project doesn't get more credit than a single cross off of a line.. *snif*. It was more work than taking down Forest's stars, or paying the cable bill.. it needs a party for such an accomplishment.. especially since it's taken me what? almost 3 years to get it done.. well, it's done.. now all I have to do is wait for the paint to finish drying and put the switchplates on... wonder how long it'll take me to accomplish that.. LOL the first time that I stick my finger into the open light switch and electrocute myself is when I'll do it.. no.. I'll do it before that... I'm not THAT bad (she says smacking her head from past experience).

I told another friend today that I was going "radio silent". Really I just didn't want to speak to him.. I told him that I wasn't answering phone calls or emails or responding to facebook until Monday. I wonder if I can make it that long. I'll probably respond to everyone but him (except facebook). I'm really tired of the current mentality of drama and that's what it all comes down to.. Everyone wants to speculate and blame someone or something else for the shittiness of their lives. Own up people - ya did it to yourself. Accept it.. no mother ship is going to come and save you from it... if you want things to be different, then change them. BTW, blame is pointless and accomplishes nothing. Owning that you screwed up - valuable.. beyond that.. it means nothing. The point is learning from your mistakes.

And so that brings us to now... and what comes next? I have no clue. I feel a Slurpee may be in my future.. my celebration for completing such a magnanimous project (ha!) or maybe I just want one. I also want sushi but that may not happen.. can't believe how expensive that stuff is....I'm looking forward to a quiet night at home by myself. I often feel like there's not enough and too much of those. After the last couple of days, I'm all over it though. Perhaps I'll read other blogs tonight as I did for a while today.. Perhaps I will fall asleep on the couch (likely). Perhaps I will ponder a "to do" list for tomorrow. Perhaps whatever... :)